nyc 1974

been through so much
the human emotional ties
intense individuality guise
process in potential normalcy
pretty pacified dormant creativity
to pray for the appearance of God
searching for signs in kind faces
a blind man walks an angel races
picking up rubbish on the streets of Broadway
painting an ashram wall
watched you play tennis I couldn’t join in at all
losing a Spring in my step lost in the Fall
spiraling down to ground level
no mentor with moments special
therapy the beginning climb back to eternity
if words could be said if only I voiced them
convinced I a victim had no choice but eyes to close them
like petals on a white thorn stemmed rose
wearing a gray flannel pantsuit in Mid-Town with black oxfords
or in my white floral peasant dress and yellow clogs
waiting to be discovered at some acting class
the harvest moon soothed me in purple sleeves black tights new balance
running shoes
I ran for a cab
hovered in suspense great expectations bent on the night
words blurred no one in sight
to hallucinate a friend under a green lamplight under pale moonlight
to not be so alone to feel too bare
the city was barren to me too lonely
if only she would have thought to care.